How Do I know That This Is The Right Person/Co-Parent For Me?

Greetings dear readers,

In one of my previous newsletters from September 2023, I opened up about my journey through remarriage—a path that proved to be far from a cakewalk. I shared how both my partner and I, despite carrying the heavy mental loads of our previous marriages, managed to connect and build something beautiful. If you missed that story or would like to revisit it, you can simply click right here: Link to Previous Newsletter.

We Were Scarred, Gaslighted, Manipulated, and More...

After 4.5 years filled with incredible ups and downs, after all the trials we've faced in the past, we find ourselves slowly healing each other as time passes. There's no denying that there's still a long journey ahead, but there's something undeniably rewarding about taking this path with the right partner by your side.

Now, you might be wondering, "How do you know if this person is the right one for me?" In all honesty, you never truly know until both parties invest tremendous effort in exploring each other's depths. Here are a couple of things we did to determine if we were indeed Mr. and Mrs. Right for each other:

1. Open Communication: We made a pact to communicate openly, no matter how difficult the topics were. Honest conversations became the cornerstone of our connection.

2. Love Languages: We delved into understanding each other's love languages and found ways to make the most of them. Knowing how to express love in a way that truly resonates with your partner can be transformative.

3. Sharing the Mental Load: We recognized that child-rearing and household responsibilities are no longer confined to one gender. Fathers, it's crucial to chip in and share the load. For instance, during our dating phase, my better half would visit me and my daughters. Without needing to be asked, he would jump in and help with chores while I put my daughters to bed. It was a gesture that lightened my load in a way I had never experienced before.

4. Validating Feelings: We vowed to always honor and validate each other's feelings, no matter their origin. Emotions are complex, and they deserve acknowledgment and understanding.

As I've observed other couples thriving in their relationships, I've come to understand that a healthy partnership can sow the seeds of happiness even in the darkest of places.

For couples with children, remember that kids are perceptive beings. They can sense when you're genuinely happy or not. Witnessing parents engage in healthy and open communication sets an invaluable example for them. It helps them feel safe and empowered to communicate honestly in the years to come.

Have you ever experienced or tried out any of the above methods before or are you still struggling to strike a good balance? Share with me your story by sending it to [email protected] and let’s talk about it!

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Founder of The MindFull Parent

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