When Kids See the Truth for Themselves

Hello MindFull Readers,

The other day, I had one of those deep, unexpected conversations with my daughters. You know, the kind that starts off light and innocent but quickly unravels into something much bigger?

It began with a simple question: What do you think it takes to take care of a puppy?

They immediately jumped in with answers—Time! Attention! Money! Responsibility!

I nodded. Exactly. And what about a baby?

That was the moment things shifted.

Amidst it all, I made sure to acknowledge their feelings by saying: I’m really glad you’re excited for your baby sister. Because emotions are never just one thing. They’re layered. They’re messy. And they deserve to be explored without shame or guilt.

The conversation quickly expanded and without me even mentioning their biological father, they started drawing their own conclusions. Papa doesn’t really have the time or money to do that for us, does he? Papa is often rude to his current wife… How will he take care of another baby if he doesn’t even take care of us properly?

I didn’t have to say a word. They saw it for themselves. This not only reinforced the fact that I can see that my children know what a healthy relationship could look like, but also that modelling that behaviour in front of them has paid off to a large extent.

It’s never easy guiding children through complex emotions, especially when it involves the reality of a parent who struggles to show up for them. But instead of telling them what to feel, I gave them the space to think, to process, to come to their own understanding on their own terms.

This journey of parenting while reparenting myself? It’s hard. It’s so hard to not fall back into the behavioural patterns I’ve learnt from my parents during my childhood. But moments like these remind me that I’m on the right path. If you’ve ever had to navigate tough conversations with your little ones, I see you. It’s not easy, but you’re doing better than you think. 🩵

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Reparenting Life Coach - I help you transform your generational trauma cycle to become a positive generational cycle while embracing your inner child.

P.S. If you'd like to set up a free, 30-minute, no obligation, Healing & Growth Call with me to explore whether I am the right Reparenting Life Coach for you please book a slot at this link https://calendly.com/michelle-lim-tmp/healing-and-growth-call

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