Three Divorces And One Unkept Promise.

Hey there, fellow parents!

As we journey through these newsletters together, I'm thrilled to extend a warm welcome to those who've recently joined our weekly insights. Each week, it's heartwarming to witness new faces joining our community.

For those who aren't yet familiar with my background, allow me to reintroduce myself. Born in Singapore and raised in The Netherlands for over 14 years, my journey has been a blend of cultures and experiences that have uniquely shaped me. Fun fact: my 1.71m height might seem at odds with my Asian roots, but that's a tale I'd love to share over a cup of coffee how Dutch food may have contributed to that!

The 90s in The Netherlands taught me valuable life lessons, both through its seasons and its challenging moments. Amidst the vibrant culture, I faced the harsh reality of being bullied as the 'Asian girl' during my academic years. Simultaneously, the challenges within my family made the era even more tumultuous. Witnessing daily disputes between my parents while my brothers and I watched helplessly was an experience that still echoes within me.

The turning point came when Child Protection stepped in due to our visible struggle. Their intervention urged my family to move back to Singapore in 2005, hoping for a fresh start. Yet, life unfolded in its own way, leading my mother and stepfather to part ways once again.

From these experiences emerged a promise etched in my heart – if I ever had children, I was determined to shield them from such pain.

Here's my journey, distilled into three divorces and one unkept promise.

Divorce #1

The divorce between my biological parents left me with only one perspective. Fuelled by my mother's pain, I was taught to resent my father and men in general. While her pain was valid, could this lesson have been taught with a touch of compassion? I believe so.

Divorce #2

Returning to Singapore in 2005 didn't mend my family's troubles; it amplified them. Despite the move, my stepfather and mother's relationship continued to fray. Their divorce in 2006 left me feeling abandoned once more.

Divorce #3

In 2009, I married, unaware of the warning signs that hindsight now reveals. Past traumas clouded my judgment, leading to my divorce in 2017. A path I was so determined not to take during my younger years…

The Unkept Promise…

Through the scars of these divorces emerged a vow – to shield my own children from such pain. While circumstances led me to break this promise, it was in their best interest. Today, I've replaced this promise with a commitment to nurture my children in a wholesome environment. No bitterness, no burden – just empathy and mindfulness.

Fast forward to the present, 2023. I've embraced remarriage, finding love after the storm. The journey wasn't without its turbulence, but it led me to the person I am today. Each experience has enriched my understanding and capacity to support others. As they say, "It takes one, to know one."

I'm a firm believer that every twist in my journey has a purpose. If you've read this far, please know that your presence means the world to me. Thank you for sharing in my story.

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Founder of The MindFull Parent

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