The People-Pleasing Trap (And How to Break Free)

Hello MindFull Readers,

Have you ever been in a situation where someone made a request that felt off—but you couldn’t quite put your finger on why? Maybe you felt pressured to obey, even though deep down, something didn’t sit right.

That happened to me recently. Someone asked me to make a short video so they could “audition” me for my skills. At first, I felt an instinctive discomfort in my gut, but the pressure was there—what if saying no made me seem unprofessional or difficult?

Then I took a step back. I realised that the request wasn’t coming from a genuine place. It was about control, not collaboration. And if I had given in, I might have been handing over something valuable without even realising it!

So I set a boundary. And just as expected, the reaction I received confirmed that my instincts were right all along. 💪

And so, as adults, we sometimes override our inner warning bells out of fear of disappointing others.

But here’s what reparenting has taught me: your discomfort is data. It’s a message from your nervous system, a signal that something needs your attention. And sometimes, honouring that discomfort means saying no—even when it feels awkward, even when you fear how the other person might react.

If you struggle with setting boundaries or second-guessing yourself in these moments, you’re not alone. This is something we can unlearn and rewire with time, patience, and practice. In turn, we can then guide our children so that they won’t have to struggle with these things.

So the next time you feel that inner discomfort creeping in, pause. Ask yourself: Is this something I truly want to do? Or do I feel pressured to comply?

Because you don’t owe anyone a yes—especially when it costs you your peace.

With you on this journey,

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Reparenting Life Coach - I help you transform your generational trauma cycle to become a positive generational cycle while embracing your inner child.

P.S. If you'd like to set up a free, 30-minute, no obligation, Healing & Growth Call with me to explore whether I am the right Reparenting Life Coach for you please book a slot at this link https://calendly.com/michelle-lim-tmp/healing-and-growth-call

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