Separation Anxiety, Tears & Big Emotions—Here’s What We Did

Hello MindFull Readers,

We had just returned from a beautiful family holiday in December, followed by an absolutely magical Christmas. But then January rolled in… and it hit us hard.

It started with our oldest daughter waking up constantly from nightmares, her sleep disrupted night after night. At first, we thought it might just be the nerves of going back to school—she didn’t have the best experience last year. But then, our youngest started having nightmares too. And with that came a wave of intense separation anxiety.

Her anxiety was so overwhelming that she would break down in tears, hyperventilating while clinging to me for dear life.

My husband and I were at a loss. Why was this happening all of a sudden? We went over every possibility, searching for answers. And then, like a lightbulb flickering on, we pieced it together:

1. Their routine had completely changed—new extracurriculars, different schedules, a shift in daily structure.

2. We had to start putting them to bed separately, something we’d never done before.

3. They were spending less time together as siblings.

It all made sense. The sudden changes had thrown off their sense of security.

So, how did we help them through it? Honestly, it wasn’t easy. But here’s what worked for us:

1. We took a step back and really observed their behaviour. Instead of reacting, we focused on understanding.

2. We thought about what they needed most from us—was it reassurance, extra attention, or simply knowing we were there?

3. Before having any heart-to-heart conversations, we made sure we were emotionally regulated first. No matter how exhausted or overwhelmed we felt, we approached them with empathy and patience.

4. In those conversations, we reassured them, acknowledged their feelings, and gently explained that changes—while sometimes hard—are part of growing up.

It took time. Two to three weeks of small, intentional steps. But slowly, we worked through it together. And they learned how to regulate themselves bit by bit. Parenting is never a straight path, but you already knew that I am sure. There will always be ups and downs, but with love, patience, and understanding, we can help our children navigate even the toughest transitions.

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Reparenting Life Coach - I help you transform your generational trauma cycle to become a positive generational cycle while embracing your inner child.

P.S. If you'd like to set up a free, 30-minute, no obligation, Healing & Growth Call with me to explore whether I am the right Reparenting Life Coach for you please book a slot at this link https://calendly.com/michelle-lim-tmp/healing-and-growth-call

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