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- Quick Tip Of The Week! Using When Instead of If - Be Your Child's Partner
Quick Tip Of The Week! Using When Instead of If - Be Your Child's Partner
Eliminate the eternal power struggle with your child.
Hello MindFull Readers,
“IF you don’t finish your work in time, then you have to work OT this weekend.”
How did that statement make you feel? Was it a positive or negative feeling? Let’s think about that for a minute before reading the rest of the newsletter.
Photo by Nguyen Dang Hoang Nhu on Unsplash
Ever catch yourself using those classic "If... then..." statements with your kids? You know the ones: "If you don't clean your room, then no TV!" or "If you're late again, then no dessert!"
But let's be real, doesn't it sometimes feel like we're just issuing threats and making everything conditional? And often we end up getting frustrated because it doesn’t work all of the time.
Here's a little trick I've been exploring lately that might just change the game: swap out those "ifs" for "whens."
So instead of:
"IF you don't go to bed now, then no bedtime story!"
Try this: "When we get ready for bed quicker, we can have a longer bedtime story."
And instead of:
"IF you don't tidy up your room, you don't get to play with your toys!"
Try this: "When you're done tidying your room, then we can get other toys out to play with."
Did you notice the difference? How did it make you feel? It's all about reframing the conversation in a more positive light.
Photo by Madison Oren on Unsplash
Give it a try and see if it helps ease those power struggles with your kiddos. Cheers to smoother negotiations and may the force be with you.
Photo by Daniel K Cheung on Unsplash
With warmth and mindfulness,
Michelle Lim | Founder of The MindFull Parent | Reparenting Life Coach
Michelle Lim | Mother of 3 | Multi-Coach | Founder | Author | Preschool Educator | Babywearing Specialist | Breastfeeding Mentor
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