Have You Been a Parentified Child? Let’s Unpack That Together

Hello MindFull Readers,

Have you ever heard the term “parentified child”? It was new to me too until I came across this article (Psychology Today) and began reflecting on my own childhood experiences.

Parentification is when a child takes on the role of a supportive adult within their family. A parentified child might end up caring for younger siblings or even mediating conflicts between parents—responsibilities no child should have to bear.

Today, I want to share a bit about my personal experience as a daughter in a dysfunctional family. Parentification happens a lot with daughters, though it can certainly affect sons too.

As a parentified daughter, here’s what I went through:

1. Constantly listening to my parents’ marital problems.

2. Trying to manage everyone’s stress and anxiety.

3. Feeling like I was always walking on eggshells.

4. Finding no one emotionally available to hear my anxieties.

5. Believing it was my job to fix everything around me.

6. Taking responsibility for keeping my younger brothers safe.

7. Fitting into an adult role when I was just a child.

8. Smiling through it all, telling myself, “It’s not that bad.”

These experiences shaped me into someone who would later become a people pleaser, blind to red flags, silently desperate for someone to understand me. I was my own harshest critic, convinced I was never good enough.

I became a fixer—yet no one was there to fix me.

But here I stand now, with self-awareness, healing, and growth. I’ve learned to reparent myself and remind that inner child that I am good enough. I refuse to let this trauma cycle continue with my own children. After all, every child deserves to fully experience their childhood. As parents, this is one of the most basic responsibilities we owe them.

Does any of this resonate with you? Have you experienced parentification? Or do you see it in someone close to you? Let’s talk about it—because no one should walk this journey alone.

If you'd like to set up a free, 30-minute, no obligation, Healing & Growth Call with me to explore whether I am the right Reparenting Life Coach for you please book a slot at this link https://calendly.com/michelle-lim-tmp/healing-and-growth-call

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Founder of The MindFull Parent | Reparenting Life Coach

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