Navigating Negative Family Behaviors with Grace

Dearest MindFull Readers,

This is a tricky topic, especially when it involves behaviour within the family circle—be it your current spouse, ex-spouse, or even your own parents. This journey has been one of the hardest for me to undertake, heal from, and grow moving forward.

Over the past four years, my husband and I have had lengthy, in-depth discussions about how we can best navigate the negative behaviours surrounding us within our family circles. Our goal is to raise our children in this environment without passing on our own generational trauma. You might be wondering, "What kind of behavior are you talking about, Michelle?"

Here’s a list of some behaviors we've identified as negative:

• Passive-aggressive behaviour

• Gaslighting

• Threatening

• Guilt-tripping

• And more...

Eventually, my husband and I agreed on a few guidelines to follow while raising our children and navigating these behaviours:

1. Never label the family member as a ‘bad person’.

2. Point out negative behaviour or bad habits instead.

3. Leave things alone that are out of our control and focus on what we can control.

4. If the negative behaviour affects our family, approach the matter (when necessary) with our children sensitively and objectively.

Calling out bad behavior and habits instead of labeling someone as a bad person helps guide your children in drawing healthy boundaries in their own relationships. When we tell our children that a particular family member is a bad person, we instill confusion, anger, and bitterness instead of guiding them to handle the situation with a good mindset.

A gentle reminder that this will be an ongoing journey that you will have to undertake with yourself, your spouse and your child(ren). We can't choose the family we're born into, but we can definitely do something about the way we coexist with them and how we navigate these challenges with our children. You've got this, and you deserve to draw healthy boundaries to preserve your own values.

If you'd like to set up a free, 30-minute, no obligation, Healing & Growth Call with me to explore whether I am the right Reparenting Life Coach for you please book a slot at this link https://calendly.com/michelle-lim-tmp/healing-and-growth-call

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Founder of The MindFull Parent | Reparenting Life Coach

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