Navigating Our Children's Passions: Are We Projecting Our Own Dreams?

Hello MindFull Readers,

It was a peaceful weekend, marked by just one major event. My eldest daughter, Big A, was about to face her first big audition for a specialised ballet team. We were all a mix of excitement and nerves—this was a big step for her.

As we walked into the audition venue, I guided Big A down a long corridor to the holding area. There, she slipped off her shoes and hesitated, her eyes fixed on the room where other dancers were already gathered. Then she turned to me, wide-eyed, with tears beginning to well up.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I asked gently. Between sobs, she replied, “I’m scared, Mummy. I don’t think I can do it. It’s too scary. Don’t leave me.”

I pulled her close, letting the hug calm her before I knelt down to her level.

“It’s okay to be scared,” I told her. “This is a big adventure, and I’m so proud of you for even trying. I’ve watched you work so hard every day leading up to this moment. You had just seven days to learn two pieces of choreography, and you didn’t give up once. You know what? Even though I’ve been dancing and speaking on stage for years, I still get nervous every time. But with each performance, I get a little better, a little stronger, a little braver. You’ve got this, sweetheart. Go in there and remember why you love to dance. No matter what happens, we’re already so proud of you, and you should be too.”

We shared another big hug, and by the time she pulled away, the tears were gone, replaced by that familiar sparkle in her eyes. I kissed her forehead and watched her walk into the holding room. To be honest, I was close to tears myself—the atmosphere was a bit intimidating, and it had been an emotional conversation.

As we were talking, another mother had been observing us. Afterward, she commented, “Oh, since you were a dancer, your daughter must feel a lot of pressure from you!”

Her words stuck with me, making me reflect on how I approach my children’s passions. Am I unknowingly projecting my own dreams onto them? Because, and this is something I’d love to dive deeper into in another newsletter, our kids should be living their own dreams, not ours. I’m very mindful of this, and my husband is too—he’d definitely call me out if I crossed that line.

If someone could watch that entire interaction and conclude that I’m pressuring my daughter, it’s bound to spark a lot of self-reflection. It might seem like overthinking, but my husband has shared his own experiences of being pushed into hobbies just to please his parents. I’ve heard similar stories from friends, whether they grew up in Asian or Western cultures, about pursuing their parents’ passions instead of their own.

Maybe that other mother’s comment came from a place rooted in her own experiences. But I have hope. I believe that we, the current and future generations of parents, can do better by our children.

What was your experience with pursuing passions as a child? Did you feel supported, or were you chasing someone else’s dreams?

If you'd like to set up a free, 30-minute, no obligation, Healing & Growth Call with me to explore whether I am the right Reparenting Life Coach for you please book a slot at this link https://calendly.com/michelle-lim-tmp/healing-and-growth-call

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Founder of The MindFull Parent | Reparenting Life Coach

_{If you have enjoyed my work and wish to support what I do, please consider buying me a coffee!}

_-Or-

🗞️👉 _{Refer your friends to sign up for the newsletter here!} 👈🗞️

_-Or-

💌 _{Send me an email at [email protected]} 💌

💡 For more useful tips and resources go to our website The MindFull Parent

_{(Under Development)}

Follow The MindFull Parent on Instagram, TikTok & Facebook!

You can also follow Michelle’s story about her chaotic yet loving parenting journey and other adventures on her personal Instagram.