I Was Shocked When My Husband Said This...

Even after years of healing, I caught myself hesitating to accept something so simple—time for myself. Does this happen to you too?

Author

Michelle Lim
March 24, 2025

Hello MindFull Readers,

In disbelief, I looked up at my husband and replied, “Really?”

What do you think he had just said to me? It was something so simple yet so foreign to a part of me:

“Hey, I will watch the kids, and you can get your work done in peace. Don’t worry about it, I’ve got this.”

It’s the March holidays here in Singapore, which means all three kids are home. And let me tell you, having three children under the age of ten running around makes getting into a focused work state almost impossible. It’s noisy, it’s chaotic, and “zen” is nowhere to be found.

So why was I so surprised when my husband offered to take over?

Because deep down, a part of me still struggles to take up space for myself—for my work, my passions, my own needs outside of being a mother, a wife, and the one holding everything together.

And the simple truth? It all ties back to my childhood conditioning.

Here are three reasons why this small, everyday moment hit me so deeply:

  1. I grew up constantly prioritising my parents’ and brothers’ needs over my own.

  2. There was no real space for my feelings, so it felt unsafe to even have needs.

  3. The adults I sought support from weren’t actually capable of giving it to me.

For years, I learned to shrink myself. To be easy. To be accommodating. And even though I’ve done so much inner work, moments like these remind me that healing is an ongoing process.

So, let me ask you this:

How often do you struggle to set boundaries and say no without guilt?

Because if you do, I want you to know—it’s not just you. And you’re not alone in this.

With warmth and mindfulness,

Michelle Lim | Reparenting Life Coach - I help you transform your generational trauma cycle to become a positive generational cycle while embracing your inner child.

P.S. If you'd like to set up a free, 30-minute, no obligation, Healing & Growth Call with me to explore whether I am the right Reparenting Life Coach for you please book a slot at this link https://calendly.com/michelle-lim-tmp/healing-and-growth-call

Michelle Lim | Mother of 3 | Multi-Coach | Founder of The MindFull Parent | Writer | Preschool Educator | Babywearing Specialist | Breastfeeding Mentor

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